We all love Christmas, because it is a great time to go home to Connecticut to do battle with our close relatives for the rights to various titles and land rights.
This year, the Orchard Lake Country Club & Gated Community HOA Chair is up for grabs, and Elizabeth Jacobs, who is usually your rival doesn’t stand a chance against you because you made such a good impression on those Hipsters who moved up here from Asheville or Durham or wherever. So that means the vote will come down to your family. Daddy of course will vote for you instead of your old best friend, but Mother and Joseph have been known to take Lizzie’s side over yours quite frequently
But Joseph has been doing something with computers you think, so maybe if you bought him something good from that realm you could definitely have the best gift given, win his Christmas HOA vote, and take dear Mum’s vote along with it.
So here are 10 tech gadgets that will definitely make Joey say “I’m gonna vote for my sister in the HOA Council vote because she got me the best Christmas gift this season”:
Molecular Transformator
I mean, can you believe that’s a real thing? That they just make? If you give Jacob one of these there’s no way he’ll be able to ignore what a good Chair you would make for the HOA.
Electric Fork Lift Charger
Electric Vehicles are all the rage, but you obviously can’t buy Jacob a car. It’s a fair assumption he already has an electric forklift lying around, so why not get him a charger that will let him turn that electric forklift from an immobile decoration into a heavy-duty lifting machine! The great part about this is that once you steal his vote you can turn around and ban forklifts in the neighborhood using your newfound power so you can stop dealing with that eyesore.
Beeswax Candles
Using some kind of mysterious process, some scientists have apparently figured out a way to turn bees into lights. This was likely discovered well after we mastered LED lights and stuff as a society. Feel free to buy thru this affiliate link if you really want to show the whole country club who is the belle of the ball and also the natural unquestioned ruler of the HOA: https://amzn.to/4g5DPmJ
Skorbl Dunazea
The ancient technology left in the Skorbesh crater by the holy meteor would make a perfect gift for Joseph! Not only will the Dunazean technology completely erase his self-will, turning him into your little puppet, but the Skorbl Dunazea will further cement your God-given right to rule the country club and accompanying society.
Leak Detector
Joseph definitely wants a leak detector…https://amzn.to/4iwF40e
Nosephones
As the old saying goes, control a man’s sense of smell, control his HOA voting behavior.
An Ear Piece
Help Joseph feel like the spy he always wanted to be. Set him up with one of these earpieces and you may even be able to convince him to assassinate your rival Elizabeth Jacobs. https://amzn.to/3BkptQy
A Jar of Farts
Maybe you want to try a different technique, and want to show Joseph the kind of torture he will endure under an Elizabeth Jacobs regime. These jars are jarred at the science factory so you know the technology is legit
