In 1283 BCE, ancient predecessors of the Ojibwe people created a settlement near the current site of the Hudson Bay (Kangiqsualuk ilua in the Inuit language) in Canada. Though most record of their civilization is lost to time, scuba divers in 1986 found seventeen clay tablets which had been partially submerged in the Bay, where the fine silt protected the tablets from the erosive forces of the brackish water.
Recently, Linguists were able to use newly discovered artifacts (including adorned clay pots discovered several miles away) to decipher the tablets. Since their publishing in the North American Archeological Journal of Linguistics last year, the translations of these tablets have made their way around the internet. The tablets are believed to be the foundation of an ancient lost religion. Online communities dedicated to learning the ancient and limited language have sprung up and have successfully begun a movement of people who consider themselves followers of this new old religion. In the past 3 months alone, more than 30,000 organizations following the way of the Kangiq Tablets (as they have come to be called) have registered as non-profit religious organizations in Canada alone. In the US, it is estimated that more than 5,000 churches of the Kangiq Tablets have been created.
So what is it that has motivated so many people to suddenly delve into a new religion? We’ll let you decide for yourself. Here is the translation of the first of 17 tablets:
Everything is nothing.
Nothing is everything.
From nothing comes all.
And From all comes nothing.
The Nothing is the Everything.
The Everything is nothing.
Nothing comes through Everything.
But Everything rises above nothing.
Nothing Precedes Everything
And Everything Precedes Nothing.
Everything inspires Nothing.
Nothing inspires Everything.
Nothing flows through Everything.
Everything flows through Nothing.
Nothing is about Everything.
Everything is about Nothing.
Kangiq Tablet 1
Each of the remaining tablets have twice as many statements as the preceding tablet (this order is supposed, based on the exact geometric progression observed in the the number of lines in each tablet). All told, the Kangiq Tablets are composed of 2,097,152 lines, each relating Everything and Nothing in some way.
Here are some of the lines that our editorial team thought were quite compelling:
Everything gives birth to Nothing.
Nothing gives birth to Everything.
Kangiq Tablet 3:3
Where there is Nothing there is Everything.
Where there is Everything there is Nothing.
Kangiq Tablet 7:48
If Everything falls in the Forest, Nothing can hear it.
If Nothing falls in the Forest, Everything can hear it.
Kangiq Tablet 6:24
Everything is better than 2 of Nothing.
Nothing is better than 2 of Everything.
Kangiq Tablet 15:4094
I for one am a true believer, and I hope you are too. If you are not, that is ok too, but just remember:
Everything creates the feeling of Nothing.
Nothing creates the feeling of Everything.
Kangiq Tablet 15:12859